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Bad
Bob Bates—Throat, guitar & metal finger
BBB
was born on a wild December night in a small Northumbrian
village on the banks of the river Tyne. His bare knuckle boxing
days are well documented, but between bouts he has played
in bands since 1976, and has carved out an enviable reputation
as a session player (as long as it’s in “G”
and takes no longer than 10 minutes).
BBB’s guitars look like they’ve been dragged across
the Arizona Plains behind a Ford Mustang – many have
commented on their distressed look, but closer scrutiny shows
them to be simply worried and tense. He’s dedicated
to Fender and home made Telecasters/Esquires for twang and
Gibson SGs for slide. Any guitars with more than two controls
are just too difficult for him to use so the SGs get customised
with a hack saw.
A celebrated child scarer, BBB became infamous in the 1980s
due to his love of pickled onions and the occult. Traits include
an increasingly pointy widow’s peak and an ability to
get drunk without actually buying a round.
Bob is not to be trusted, and regularly undergoes treatment
in a private psychiatric hospital. Not a pleasant man, hence
the name, and not to be approached under any circumstances.
“Bit of a tw*t really” –
Whalebone Pete |
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Brad
Dolphin—Drums and lager
Brought
up by a pack of stray dogs, Brad was once referred to as
"the feral boy of Düsseldorf". He still salivates
at the smell of rotting flesh, has real trouble using urinals
and rarely changes his underwear.
Brad is the Jet Set Bandit, having a string of homes across
Europe and America’s West Coast, each having a tasteful
mock Tudor façade, two seater sports car in the drive
and an ornamental water well beneath the bow window. His
favourite mansion’s top floor consists of nothing
but corridors where he can be heard prowling during the
long winter evenings. He’s so rich his main home has
no toilets. Instead, Brad likes to call a taxi to take him
to the closest Hilton Hotel so that he can do his business
in luxury surroundings.
Brad’s drum kits cost a fortune, which is a real shame
when you see how BBB and Whalebone love to kick the cr*p
out of them.
Brad’s machine gun drumming, coupled with Whalebone’s
less than subtle bass attack, make him one half of the best
rhythm section you’re ever likely to see.
When not playing in the band he loves nothing more than
romping with his leather clad wife and three overweight
Labradors in a specially prepared pit near the Roman Wall.
“He’s just a lucky drunkard
we’ve put up with for years” - BBB
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Whalebone
Pete—Bass and larynx
Whalebone’s
experience and plaudits are too numerous to mention. You’ll
have seen him on TV and in films over the last three decades,
and most hit albums from major artists of the last 60 years
include songs penned by him, alongside liberal sprinklings
of his bass lines and acoustic guitar work.
Whalebone taught Scott Gorham barre chords, encouraged Brian
Robertson to harmonise in his solos, helped John Entwistle
to create his trademark bass sound and carried out the work
on Brian May’s “home made” guitar that
he and his dad have been getting the credit for.
Whalebone plays the bass like it was a road drill and sings
like a canary on bourbon that smokes 40 a day. A man not
to be messed with. Don't let the happy smiling face fool
you - this man is a dirty low down s.o.b. with a capacity
for cheap beer that knows no bounds. Whalebone has a legion
of fans and leaves scores of broken hearts behind him
Enjoys sculpture and fine wines.
“I’m
not sure that we could ever be called friends..." –
Brad Dolphin |
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Sparks —Sound, lights and transport
Sid
is an international man of mystery, equally at home driving
an old van across Europe to Turkey as he is nibbling on
oysters and drinking Moet in Newcastle’s top celeb
joints. His past is a blur and his future is equally indistinct.
What is certain is that he can fix anything when the chips
are down, and can always find a dodgy food outlet.
No pictures of Sid exist, and no-one quite knows why…
“Who?”
– BBB
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